No truer statement could be said.

 

This should fit in well with the topic at hand!!

You?re No Truck Driver


I?ve heard that line over the years and it was usually from some driver who thought they were all that and then some!!
I?ll be the first to admit that I am not the greatest driver in the universe, Lord knows, far from it. I have had my share of fuck-ups over the years; however I?m not the worst either!

In the early years, the boss hired two drivers I?ll call the Dover Boys, Ben and Flip, it?s easier than trying to remember names.
The Dover Boys were friends and had 100 years experience, according to them, between them. I guessed they started when trucks had wooden wheels and hard rubber tyres, not much different from today!
Being the proverbial ?New Kid? I sort of accepted their seniority plus, I was in college and was not much interested in how much bullshit these two could throw!
I did put up with allot from Flip telling me ?how it was supposed to be done? and that young drivers were nothing more than a nuisance.

It all came to a head on a shuttle run between Cranbury NJ to a warehouse on Joyce Kilmer Avenue in New Brunswick NJ.
The first trip I backed up to the outside dock ramp; the warehouse had an outside loading dock with two ramps accessible only from the street. It was a rookie mistake, but Flip decided I committed a felony. He backed in along side of my truck and the wall. I will add that we were both driving White 9000?s without power steering.
Flip jumped out of his truck and started screaming at me ?You?re no truck driver!!!?
At that point I was going to beat him senseless, but the forklift operator grabbed me and said ?Don?t let it get to me.?
The second trip to New Brunswick was much better. I backed in along side the wall and waited for Flip to show me ?how it?s done!?
The forklift operator came to me and said that no matter what dock I backed into that clown was going to have a problem.
I hadn?t noticed it the first trip, but the operator was right. Flip couldn?t back in off a street!!!!
I told the operator to stop unloading, pulled my truck away from the dock and parked it in the street, all the while not saying anything to Flip. He eventually did back in to the space I had vacated.
I got back in my truck and just for fun I backed up on the blind side into the outside dock. Discretion should have been the better part of valor, however in this case I made an exception. I walked up to Flip and told him he was correct, I wasn?t a TRUCK DRIVER, I was a COLLEGE STUDENT!

That evening, when we got back to the yard Flip ran into the office and complained about me and my attitude. The boss called me in the office and asked for my side of the events, so I told him. He also had a statement from the forklift operator, who had called the office after the first altercation.
I told the boss it wasn?t such a big deal and that it was a typical day in trucking. The boss didn?t agree he had a very low tolerance for arrogant drivers. I asked him what he planned on doing and he told me to head on home.
The first thing I thought of was I was fired, but that thought lasted for about 5 minutes when the dispatcher said to pack my clothes and be ready to ride up to International Falls, Minnesota in the morning.

When I got back from my whirlwind tour of the Upper Midwest I asked the dispatch person what had happened after I left out and she said that Flip went off on another driver and the boss let him go. She also said that Flips friend Ben bitched out the boss and quit.

I wonder what ever happened to them.

 

The M&M's Plain and Nuts, or...................

Another Chemical Brothers Adventure


Before this story continues, I have to mention this. The Chemical Brothers
were also known as the ?M&M?s" Plain and Nuts it was left to the individuals we encountered to figure out who was who.

As was written earlier the Chemical Brothers (M&M?s) were running team pulling DMT
From Tampico, Mexico to Tennessee Eastman in Kingsport, TN. We were about two weeks into the run, when in a fit of ?Pretzel? logic the Team Dispatcher pulled us off and
sent us back to Wilmington, NC. The decision made absolutely no sense and questioning the decision was fruitless.

Upon arrival in Wilmington the dispatcher told us we were to split up and run POND WATER from Weyerhaeuser in Jacksonville, NC to Weyerhaeuser in Washington, NC.
My mild mannered brother went ballistic: ?You mean to tell me that we were yanked off a good paying run for this?!?!?!??
The dispatcher was in disbelief, not to mention how shocked I was at the outburst. All the dispatcher could say was the directive was handed down from High Point. Still fuming, my brother picked up the phone and started dialing the number to High Point. I asked him who he was calling.
?I?m calling Scott and tell him what I think of him and his decision!!? Was the response
?Are you sure that?s such a good idea??? I asked.
The look on the brothers? face was pure evil: ?It?s either this or we ride to High Point and kick his ass!!!?
I told the dispatcher this was going to be a real enjoyable. He responded by saying he was glad I felt that way, because I was getting one of the ancient Volvos? to drive. As I said it was going to be a fun run. The bright side to all this. I was able to spend some time at home.
The Volvo selection was rather thin at best. Three had 0092 Detroit?s, one had a 350 Cummins and the last one had a 350 Caterpillar. The story behind the Cats was the owner was talked into buying a few trucks with the Cat engines in them. He was not pleased because the mechanics couldn?t tame them. I took the Cat powered Volvo!

The POND WATER run was interesting. Weyerhaeuser wanted 16 loads picked up and delivered a day. The first day or two it was extremely difficult to come anywhere near that number, due to the time required in loading and unloading. Someone finally came up with the bright idea to have two trailers dropped in Jacksonville. Sure made the pick up part easy.
Oh for the record the guards at both plants were not happy with the M&M?s. The usual response: ?Hey!!! Didn?t you just leave????
We kept telling them we were extremely good!!
The unloading part was something to behold. Once the trucks came through the gate we had to drive out into what could be best described as a swamp. We had to navigate along a thin strip of land; there was not much room for error, nor room for two trucks to pass each other!
The unloading spot was just big enough to swing around and get lined up with the hoses that were used for the unloading process, very high tech!!!
I did forget to mention the route we had to take was mostly two lanes. What a joy it was for all involved.

We were stuck on the ?water? run for a week, when someone in High Point realized the Chemical Brothers were not on the DMT runs. Needless to say the Team Dispatcher received a severe Bitching out and word was passed down to send us back to Brownsville, TX immediately if not sooner.
The Chemical Brothers arrived in Brownsville on Friday and met up with the other teams on the DMT run.

 

2395 views and 8 pages. This is a record for the CAD message forum!!! WOOOO-HOOOO

 

Over the 30 years I?ve been on the road I?ve met some interesting and not so interesting people. All the names have long been forgotten however, they have left an undeniable impression on my life as a driver?

It goes without saying there are few occupations where a person can go out and actually interact with America, Canada and Mexico.
Driving, for me, gave me that opportunity. Now as my career grinds to a halt a feeling of melancholy and panic has set in after writing and rereading the stories I?ve written. I realized that I?ve become that guy in the truck stop, who no longer drives, but has lot of stories about the good old days. What a horrible thought, it was the one thing I swore I?d never do. I can hear the Bruce Springsteen classic ?Glory Days? playing over and over.

INTERLUDE

With the interlude over and yes it was a long interlude at that.

There isn?t a retirement home for old worn out drivers. Wow, what a vision that is, a bunch of crusty ex-truckers swapping U.S. Marshal stories. God, what a nightmare!

It has become painfully clear that my chosen occupation is, or has come to an abrupt end, unless, by some miracle, a doctor can fix whatever is wrong with my knee. The latest doctor has dutifully diagnosed that I was suffering from a bout of depression.
I told him in no uncertain terms ?No shit I?m depressed!! How would he feel after being told that he can no longer do the occupation he has done for the past 30 years and no one seems to want to fix the problem?!?!?

Sorry, went off on a tangent.
With all the above written I had put the Amusing Stories on hold, not from the lack of stories, but from the ?depression? the doctor seems to believe I have.
There will be more to come in the future!

 

Well, I for one, am looking forward to seeing more of the same. Hope you're holding out, Doc, and keep me in the loop.

 

Oh yeah you'll be in the loop, have I got something to tell you...

It only gets better and better :?

 

:rock: :rock: Well Dr. Who (original or otherwise) I see this thread has went far beyond anyone's expectations. Congratulations on this and your own site. Very nice indeed. Keep it up and keep the patio elk under control. Take care my friend.

 

Magician my friend, thanks for the kind words and a new story is in the processing stage...

Don't forget the coffee is still brewing....

 

Another Chemical Run from the Dark Ages?

The dispatcher told me I was scheduled for a load to Cartersville, Georgia. I explained to her that I was getting married on Saturday, December 5th. She insisted I was the only driver she had for the run. I complained to the boss and all he would say was that he would make it worth my time. I did find out later that the dispatcher was upset that I wasn?t interested in her, she was quite vindictive.
I drove to Jersey City to get the tank, I checked with the dispatcher there and was told I had to deadhead to Dayton, Ohio to pick up at B.F. Goodrich and deliver the load to a small plant in Cartersville. I called the boss and asked if I could quit and promised never to tell anyone about the incident. He told me I was getting paid for all the miles loaded and empty, plus I was going to get a percentage of the load as a ?wedding? gift? Still didn?t make me feel any better, not to mention the growing concern regarding getting home for the nuptials?

Still fuming over the raw deal I pointed the W-900 west and ran hard towards Dayton.
I pulled up to the guard shack and the guard asked me why anyone would send an empty truck from New Jersey I shrugged my shoulders as I drove through the gate. The loading took 30 minutes and I was on my way towards Georgia?

I-77 in West Virginia I had to stop for a roadside examination. Two of WV?s finest put portable scales under the wheels, I asked them if that was wise. It wasn?t, the load rocked forward and broke one of the scales, they let me go. I pulled back onto the interstate and rode on into Virginia. The scale people there were not as forgiving, the truck was over on the drives. I questioned the scale person and was told, in no uncertain terms, to pull the vehicle to the side and bring the paperwork in. I had to pay on the spot for the overweight and was let go. Real nice of them!!
The ride through NC, SC and the small part of Georgia was uneventful.

I arrived at the plant Friday morning 10:00 AM December, 4. The unloading process took 4 hours due to the customers? tank being air bound.
With the unloading completed and the aggravation level down to a tolerable level I was finally on my way home, a line from an old song kept popping up ??got a long way to go and a short time to get there??
I drove as hard as I could all the while hoping the future Mrs. was still going to marry me.
I did make it home 1 hour before the wedding. What a way to start a new life!!