I remember way back in my school days, our biology instructor dipped a rose in liquid nitrogen and proceeded to shatter it like glass on the counter to show how dangerous it could be when we worked with it. We were given the whole lecture of safety and even shown pictures of of a scientist who had unkowingly frozen his finger and bumped it against a counter, shattering it. Said he never felt a thing and it was pretty ugly looking. Remember Wesley Snipes head in the movie Demolition Man, when he got nitro'd there at the end? Looked about the same.

 

A day or so ago I was standing with a few other drivers waiting to unload our respective loads of asphalt. As we discussed the events of the day one of the drivers started yelling something about what he had just seen in a car that had passed us...
I asked him if he had never seen a woman before, he responded that the woman flashed him. The other drivers and I really didn't believe him but Charlie insisted... I did manage to get a good look at the car...

Well, ten minutes later the same vehicle came back following the "pilot car" and sure enough the driver, a LFG, flashed us again and me being the person I am shouted "Is that all you have????"
The LFG showed me what postion I was on her popularity list, right there at the top!!!
Charlie thought I was being "unkind" and I responded by saying maybe I should sue her for False Advertisement. He asked me why and I pointed to the personalized tag, which had "BUSTY" written on it. Definite false advertising or she borrowed the car from a friend!!!

I wandered back to my truck singing a few lines from the Kinks great hit "Lola"

"....I can't understand why she walked like a woman but talked like a man..."
"....Girls will be boys, boys will be girls it's a mixed up world, shook up world except for Lola..."

Oh wow tomorrow Dec 2 will be my 2 year anniversary with CAD!!!

 

Congrats doc today you are 2 years old :lol:

on to other things.......... :arrow:

well as most of you know I am on y way to SN for training but I had a little set back because of the drug test. I dont know why but it took 8 days for them to find out I am clean. So now I should start training Dec.6 but I have to go to the motel or hotel on the 5th. this is already starting out on the roung foot on there part. I spent a week faxing and mailing papers to these pepole so I could get in on the Nov 29 class for nothing but it has worked out some what my heat went out in the bad way an eletric motor on it quit working and I live with my grandmother of 80+ and if I had got in the class I won'ted she would have got realy cold befor she told anybody the heat was out. Sence I was home I knowed, and still having troble with it but its warm in the whole house now after an $66 motor that took a day longer to get here than it was going to. Enough about that it has nothing to do with trucking but I am not on the road yet so its the best I can do for now.

By the way the thread was over 20300 when I came in to see whats goin on. :roll:

 

Well Doc, :lol: wild animals, emus', patio elk....how about this little adventure with the smelly species. ops:
Years ago, was delivering in the boonies of California...and enroute to the residence, came across a young lad standing by a irrigation culvert. He flagged me down and so I turned in on the gravel road...stopped and walked back to see what was wrong. The youngster...probably 14 or so...informed me that a skunk was trapped in the irrigation culvert....trying to save her little ones....I walked over and surveyed the situation...so enough...there were two littles ones cuddled on top of the culvert, but momma was stuck in a crack/hole....half in and half out....apparently she had nested in culvert, or was navigating it with her youngsters when the valve got turned on...and the water came rushing down....remembering my childhood days...granddad's teachings....I straddled the culvert, reached down and grabbed mother by the cuff of the neck. Granddad always told me...if you ever grabbed a skunk, make certain you grabbed the tail and as long as you held on to the skunk's tail, he/she couldn't spray you.
I gradually worked the mother skunk out of the hole/crack...and immediately grabbed the tail. I retreated back to the safety of the gravel road, carry mother by her neck and holding dearly onto the tail....
The youngster said, 'now - just give her a toss and she'll be alright'.....Well I did just that....but I forgot one little item of importance....'always let go of the tail last'.....when I gave her a little toss, I released everything at one time...and dear little momma skunk let loose and I caught a little of the spray...just enough to smell 'bad'....'really bad'....
The youngster said he'd be right back...and departed on the run....I thought I was going to be stuck, smelling like a skunk, having to get back into the truck and drive on to residence....but within minutes, a pickup arrived...dad and youngster (turned out this was my shipper - I had picked his goods up out of storage)......He had a bucket filled with vinegar mixed with tomatoe juice....I stripped down to shorts....scrubbed myself down with the 'mixture'....got sprayed with some 'deodorant' spray the dad also brought..threw the 'smelly ones' into the back of the pickup.....climbed back into the truck...put on clean clothes.....and followed him to residence. Upon arrival....I told my help to start unloading the cartons.....while the shipper brought out the garden hose...handed me a bar of soap....and hosed me down while I lathered up...once again scrubbing myself with his 'mixture'....plus soap....I repeated the process a couple of times and got rid of most of the smell....after we finished unloading, we all had a good laugh over the whole situation and even though I still had a faint smell, it was tolerable. Moral/lesson of the story....don't mess with stuck 'skunks'.....regardless :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:

By the way Doc, I agree totally, it's refreshing to see other drivers now posting here.

 

Now that's 'Amusing' - Doc, you didn't tell us it was your birthday:!:

 

It is a fact that there is at least one twin for everyone on the planet.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY CAN BE DANGEROUS
This came up after someone said I looked like someone he knew and I asked if the guy owed him money or was somebody gunning for him....

Quite a few years ago I was making a delivery in Mobile, Alabama or; should I say attempted to make the delivery. The directions I had were absolutely useless as was the phone number. I stopped at a convenience store and asked the clerk where the place was at, she gave the best directions I could have ever asked for. As I headed back to the truck I heard someone shouting a bunch of obscenities, I ignored it figuring it was common practice in that store.

Finally arriving at the consignee I backed into the unloading area, hooked up the hoses and started unloading. About 15 minutes had gone by when one of the employees came running around the building yelling that I better hide, I wanted to ask him why when a piece of shit Cadillac came screaming up and a maniac jumped out waving a .50 caliber Desert Eagle in my face yelling that I was ?doing? his wife. The only thing I could say was ?What the f??!?!?
The guy continued yelling and pointing the gun as the police arrived, it didn?t make me feel any better while I stood there shaking, sweating and concerned about the HUGE hole that was going to put upon my person?
I finally managed to get enough courage to attempt to convince this guy he was mistaken. I proceeded to describe his wife as follows ?Is she 6? 2? tall, long blond hair and weighs 400 pounds????
The look of pure evil and hate left his face to be replaced by a complete look of shock, like this :shock: . At first I thought I had actually described his wife and really started to shake!
He lowered his gun and said ?Damn, that?s a big woman!?

The police took him in to custody and asked if I wanted to file charges, I told them no but wanted to ask the guy what his problem was. The guy told me I looked a lot like the person who, supposedly, was fooling around with his wife, he then showed me a photo of his wife, I almost vomited!!!

The guy was taken away in cuffs but I still had to answer a few more questions from another officer. After the Q&A the officer said my ?twin? must be drunk, blind or both!
I shrugged my shoulders as a cold shiver ran up my spine; I told the officer that at least someone had the courage to make the woman happy. The officer responded by saying that it was so ugly the tide wouldn?t take it out? I did say something about ?inbreeding? and walked away?

WOOO-HOOO

PAGE 30 Texans 3

 

Of course this couldn't be ignored.....

Well, I didn't want you to make a real big fuss over it and besides it would have taken away from the insanity, oopss, I mean sanctity of the board!!

Holy shit Robin someone stole Snow chicks photo... How rude!!! I'm gonna miss the chubby penguin in the sexy swim wear!!! :sad: :sad:

 

Doc its funny you put that in about mistaken identy. A little over a year ago we had a load that took us into Canada. First trip out with husband going into Canada. I had not been to Canada in over 25 years so of course they sent us to immigration. We were going through the Blaine crossing. I show my id, birth certificate, and social security card. The lady tells us to take a seat and a few minutes later she comes back and asks for me. My husband gets up to walk up with me and she demands him to sit down. I walk up there she asked me where I was born, how old I was, what my maiden name is and a few other questions. She tells me to take a seat and about 10 minutes later she calls me up to the counter again. By this time I am mad. I ask the lady if there is a problem she says yes and shows me a picture of a missing 15 year old girl. This girl looked just like me I about fell over. The girl had come up missing a few weeks prior and they were making sure that I was not her. I told the lady if I was 15 then there would be no way I could have two teenage kids at the age of 32. After finding out why she was questioning me so much I was no longer mad as I seen it as what if I was that 15 year old girl the lady at the immigration office was just doing her job and a good job at that.

 

Doc Wrote
She was returned unharmed yesterday afternoon.......Her captor has asked that his name not be revealed or she will be taken again !!!! :lol:

Thanks for the concern Doc :P

 

Doctor Who,
I spent several hours reading all your posts and I felt like I was with you while reading your stories, you have a way with words that is hard to find and makes it hard to stop reading.
I don't know if there is any connection but I remember reading a fictional story in several issues of Truckers News years ago that was written very similar to your style, every story leaves you wanting more.
Anyway's I wanted to say if you ever do get all this in book form I want a copy, signed of course!!