Tips to help you look like a pro
#61
11-09-2009, 06:39 PM
Make sure you use the speaker phone function on your cell and yell into it so everyone can hear your conversation. Pro's know that everyone wants to hear what they are saying.
When a state trooper stops you make sure you knock him/her off of your running board and then have them apologize for touching your truck. Only real pro's can get this done without going to jail. Real Pros know that they don't have to turn over their logbooks to anyone other than DOT. Tell the State Trooper/Sheriff/Local that he doesn't have the authority to see it and argue the point. Real Pros always win this argument and go on their merry way without a problem. When getting a truck inspection done at a scale real pros always show the DOT officer how to do it right. Pros know that they love to be shown how to do their jobs and appreciate the help. 
#62
11-09-2009, 06:42 PM
That first one happened to me this morning at Princeton, WV. It was a SuddenLink employee who stepped out in front of me, my truck, and 34,000lbs. of cheap junk. Not 30 minutes after this, one of his co-workers in a pickup pulls right out in front of a Valley Proteins tractor-trailer. The moron in the pickup was on his cell phone, too.
Here's another few. When pulling up to the guard shack at a customer, take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line. Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all). A 'pro' can keep the truck stopped without brakes. (Yes, this just happened to me at the distribution center this evening... Yes, he was on his cell phone too.) When backing, never use the four-ways, never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB (if there's anyone there), and never, EVER, under any circumstances, get out and look. (The same cell phone wielding idiot pulled that same stunt on the yard while I was inspecting my trailer.)
#63
11-09-2009, 09:50 PM
Also make sure to mention a Federal Marshall's personal phone # you have on speed dial for just such an occasion...8>)
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Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get in my own pants....
#64
11-11-2009, 06:56 PM
 Just last week I had to call Walker Texas Ranger on a scalemaster. He's not a Marshall but can kick his butt if needed.
#65
11-15-2009, 03:19 AM
1st I got to say... I love this.. :clap::clap: well done Fredog
but I got to play "Devil's Advocate" here a little. But.... a. If you're running that fast, you're probably SPEEDING. b. If you're traveling in the passing lane constantly - you're breaking the law. c. If you can see ahead and know a truck of overtaking another... maybe you could tap your brakes... surely he's had his signal on to alert you he's going to pass. d. Agreed, if you can't get around and back clear in 1 minute-- you shouldn't waste everyone's fracking time trying to pass another truck. If you are in the truck being passed, NEVER slow down to allow the other guy to get by, maintain your speed, it is really helpful if you can get up more speed going downhill and make him start all over again, this shows that you are a real pro and cant be pushed around :clap:
If you are pulling doubles, always weave back and forth between lanes to discourage the amateurs from trying to pass you :clap: When you stop to eat, after taking a crap NEVER wash your hands, just go straight to the buffet :clap: When a truck gets over to let you merge onto the interstate, don’t let him back over, try your best to out run him, if you cant do it after 5 or 6 miles, then it is okay to let him over :clap: When being passed at night, always watch the passing trucks right mirror, when you see the driver look in it, turn your brights on, leave them on for 10 to 15 seconds to be sure he sees them When will they learn? it's OFF/ON not HIGH/LOW! Every now and then share some of your music over the cb, this shows everyone that you really are a pro :clap: If you are turning in and see a truck coming out, never wait for him, he will think you are an amateur and dont know how to turn, if he can drive, he can figure out how to make it :clap: After you fuel, pull up and leave your truck parked there for at least 30 minutes, this is what pros do :clap: When pulling in a weigh station and the green light is on, always stop on the scale and wait for someone on the cb to tell you to go :clap: If the weigh station says maintain 45 mph, go 15. if it says 15 mph, go 40 :clap: NEVER slow down for construction zones, if your truck is governed, your foot should be on the floor at all times :clap: If your truck isn’t governed just maintain whatever speed you were going. Only newbies slow down These are just a few tips to help you look like a true modern day professional truck driver Everyone is welcome to add to the list[/quote] Oh, instead of turning your lights ON/OFF to single someone over-- never take your hand off the CB Mic-- and continue to assume he's got his ON--repeating ..." "Bring it over.. Bring it over....." to no avail.
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#66
11-19-2009, 10:15 PM
Your truck should also have more lights than downtown Las Vegas and enough chrome to make Stevie Wonder squint from the glare on a sunny day. Even if it's a company truck, you should spare no expense when it comes to this. No matter if your house is being repossessed and your kids are starving, a real pro rolls in style....
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Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get in my own pants....
#67
11-21-2009, 05:37 AM
Dress for the job; a sleeveless undershirt with coffee stains, and some drops of yellow food dye strategically placed in the front, center of the shirt tail. Don't forget the belt buckle the size of a Mercedes Benz hub cap, along with the ostrich feathered roach clip hanging down from your cap.
Remember to get on the CB as soon as you clear the highway get-on ramp, and ask for bear reports. After you get your bear report, tell the driver who gave you the report that you just pulled out of the truck stop, so you can't give him anything in return. Remember to talk on the CB about your record of military service. You were in Special Forces. A Green Beret or a Navy SEAL works well. No self respecting driver was ever a cook, or a postal clerk, a dental assistant, a phlebotomist, or a billeting clerk. Last edited by Useless; 11-21-2009 at 05:55 AM.
#68
11-21-2009, 03:30 PM
Dress for the job; a sleeveless undershirt with coffee stains, and some drops of yellow food dye strategically placed in the front, center of the shirt tail. Don't forget the belt buckle the size of a Mercedes Benz hub cap, along with the ostrich feathered roach clip hanging down from your cap.
Remember to get on the CB as soon as you clear the highway get-on ramp, and ask for bear reports. After you get your bear report, tell the driver who gave you the report that you just pulled out of the truck stop, so you can't give him anything in return. Remember to talk on the CB about your record of military service. You were in Special Forces. A Green Beret or a Navy SEAL works well. No self respecting driver was ever a cook, or a postal clerk, a dental assistant, a phlebotomist, or a billeting clerk. "my MOS was so classified that if I told you I'd have to kill you" works pretty good also. |
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